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This chapter discusses how attachment styles, specifically anxious and avoidant styles, manifest in friendships and work relationships. The author notes that there is less research on attachment styles in these contexts compared to romantic relationships, so much of the information provided is extrapolated from studies on couples and parent-child relationships.

In terms of friendships, those who are securely attached generally have more positive expectations and experiences in their friendships. They are more active in using prosocial strategies to maintain these relationships, self-disclose more, and have less conflict. Emotionally charged conflicts have a particularly adverse impact on individuals with an anxious style and can lead to increased future depression. On the other hand, people with avoidant styles tend to have weaker communication skills and poorer focus during problem-solving discussions with friends.

In the workplace, individuals with an anxious attachment style tend to be more anxious about their work performance and relationships. Avoidantly attached individuals are prone to overworking and are less likely to initiate social interaction with colleagues. Securely attached individuals are more confident in their effectiveness in teams, display more vigor, and are perceived as emerging leaders. They are also less vulnerable to burnout compared to those with insecure attachment styles. Anxiously attached leaders tend to be rated as less effective by their followers, while avoidantly attached leaders are seen as lacking emotional skills. Insecurely attached leaders can lead to burnout and low job satisfaction among their subordinates.

The author suggests that while the information presented seems negative for those with insecure attachment styles, it is important to understand the circumstances in which these styles can be beneficial. From an evolutionary perspective, different attachment styles may be useful in different contexts. For example, individuals with an avoidant attachment style may be better able to emotionally move on and survive after experiencing abandonment. Some initial studies also suggest potential advantages of insecure attachment styles at work, such as people with an anxious style being more effective at alerting others to threats that require quick action.

The chapter also includes generalizations and characterizations of how attachment styles manifest in friendships and work relationships. Anxiously attached individuals tend to form intense friendships and feel worried about friends “breaking up” with them. They may run hot and cold in their interactions and have high expectations for emotional intensity from others. They may also compartmentalize their friendships and feel threatened by sharing friends with their partner. Anxious individuals may also form intense attachments with people they know only online or feel strong attachment to semipublic figures they don’t know personally.

Avoidantly attached individuals may go long periods without seeing friends and wait for the other person to initiate contact. They tend to prefer less emotional intimacy in their work relationships and may struggle with mentoring roles that require emotional support and self-disclosure. They have fears of being blamed or intruded upon and may make hurtful comments without considering their impact. Workplace drama can impact both anxious and avoidant individuals, leading to emotional overload for avoidant individuals and activating relationship concerns for anxious individuals.

The chapter concludes with suggestions for managing attachment insecurity in friendships and work relationships. These include recognizing and accepting out-of-proportion reactions, accepting the intensity of one’s attachment style, developing a more balanced view of relationships, expanding relationship networks, and being consistent and willing to follow up with friends. For avoidantly attached individuals, the suggestions include being more consistent in contact with friends, recognizing the impact of disruptions in relationships, and being open to supporting others emotionally in the workplace. It is also important for individuals with insecure attachment styles to practice self-care and use strategies to manage their emotions in the face of workplace drama.

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